No Movie Ending

by Weak Arms

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1.
Next Time 03:43
So I'm moving south towards greener pastures gone are the days of cold where I just felt Dead in the water breathing in the air that hurts like asbestos stings it's caught in my Lungs are screaming out songs that I can't help but hate cause they're from my heart and not from my Head is in vibrant pain from incessant migraines and I'm in the dark can you say my name Well I'm losing hope, and losing all my friends I'll begin again this time I will Cope without feeling lost and abandoning dreams or the ones I love sorry I'm so Meanings are lost with time and I've been gone a while I have lost my mind and hope is a Lie down and ice my head and try to get my footing is gone again, I think I'm alright Summer spring Winter fall Go down and back again try to get together the next time that I see you So I left the world again tried to climb a mountain but there was no view And If I'm dead again I'll try to pick myself back up to where I left you The walls are closing in and I can't believe that this is where I'll fall through With a resounding grin I try to glue the pieces back together but they won't fit
2.
It was snowing when I woke up the window was open but I didn't care Put a shirt on and I got up, didn't mind the freezing air And the snow came blowing in through the window that I didn't shut My room was a tundra that I knew but I thought my warmth might be enough for you So we made angels in the floor where I lay And I said that I didn't want this to ever change So we made a promise that we would stay stuck in the ice age And we kept our mouths shut and we lived in the house that I made But we were cold So I made a fire inside my heart I fed it with pieces of my soul You said it was a work of art But I knew I would never be whole again So don't look too deep into my heart You'll find me broken buried in shards Dead grass lies underneath the snow I'm buried too deep for you to ever know who I am And I dug myself too deep This time I think I'm gonna keep A line to the surface where you're standing by Telling me that I am gonna be fine But I can't believe that this time Things are really gonna change Shouldn't I start acting my own age Isn't there a part for me in this play If my part's been filled than why should I stay I'm waiting for the storm to blow over Think I need a new four leaf clover Cause mine's run out of luck Oh trust me, I know that I suck I just need some time to grow up Into someone who doesn't give a fuck And I've known all along That all I needed was someone to sing along And that's you, it's true, I've always needed you To be here, always near, my greatest fear has always been losing you And maybe I'm just insecure, I've never been quite so sure, about the part that I play am i the poison or the cure And I don't know if it's me or if you're just all I see but I think that I know just what I'll be When the parts have all been cast the snow and rain have passed I'll be standing tall for you you'll be my sail and I your mast and if that's what we have to do to keep our ship sailing through the storm that's broke against our hull then I will last forever darling if that's what you need An eternal anthem in an endless sea Where tides are brutal and storms are rough I know I'm not perfect just hope i'm enough So if you need my hand don't hesitate To clear you conscious start an empty slate Let's close the window and let's bring it home Our fire's smothered and our life is coal But there's heat left somewhere, that I know So take my hand and please dont' please don't go
3.
Hey hey I'm getting better Hey hey I don't know what I should say Hey hey These constant failures Hey hey I feel worse every day Hey hey The subtle reminders Hey hey They all just bring me down Hey hey But it's not your fault Hey hey You never made a sound Hey hey You tell me something Hey hey Tell me what cha think of me Hey hey Am I just a nuisance Hey hey Could you tell me what you see Hey hey Is this disappointment Hey hey I'm living out my dreams Hey hey Though they see m like nightmares Hey hey Life's not all that it seems So I tell you that I'm thinking about skipping town Say I'll pack all my things and bury them in the ground So that when I come back they'll be waiting there for me Just like you were when I left, I don't deserve your company Hey hey But that's not all I mean Hey hey When I say I'm not doing well Hey hey I feel myself collapse Hey hey As my brain begins to swell Hey hey My veins will all give out Hey hey And all my skin will melt Hey hey The years of suffering Hey hey The ground will soon have felt And all these subtle inconveniences will one day bring me back to you And I will ask you how things have been how's the old neighborhood is everyone doing well? And I'll notice small hints of decay in your words as you send them to me But you won't tell me how you really felt from all the years of neglect and the months I never called Hey hey I dont know Hey hey Don't ask what this is about Hey hey Accept with open arms Hey hey My shadows and my doubt Hey hey And please don't judge me Hey hey On all my mistakes Hey hey They bring me solace Hey hey They travel in my wake
4.
Come Undone 03:26
You wake up and you feel so alone So you go back to sleep for a couple hours to see what you can be In your dreams, in your nightmares, where your body won't hold you back And you find it's not that great So you tell yourself you can change so you tell yourself that you're wrong you say that you haven't gone too far you say that it hasn't been too long And the earth it becomes your cage and your body just wont engage with the hopeless and the rage and the ones who made you feel this way So you start again try to find some new friends but you can't Angels god and your parents debt tell you that you shouldn't have left yet they say you've got a life ahead of you and that you'll never fill their shoes Or their jobs or your dumb degree all i want is to feel like me is that really too much to ask all i want is for this to last And it falls apart, right at the best part, it always does Now you feel like, things have come undone. You can't find the way that everything's supposed to be And the world around you has all gone and changed and you don't know how things have gone and got this way You can't help but feel like you've been betrayed by the people around you all the ones you thought were safe And i dont' even know if this is how things will stay if all the anger and the pain will ever go away
5.
Apologies 06:00
If i could live anywhere I'd live anywhere but here And if I could be anything I'd be anything but me And broken homes make broken families and that breaks me So if I'm crying when you get here just know that somebody called me So i'll drink by myself tonight, safety nets have holes If i'm in free fall please catch me where I land And that's not all I need please help me get to my feet Cause I can't stand another evening sitting here in silence praying I don't here my name So if you need a second just to catch your breath please think about all the times that I have lost mine and if this exercise has taught you anything there's now a window to my mind So if you're second guessing things I wrote or words I never said I hope this helps you figure out I always meant it every time I told you this could be my last you were the best I ever had and old apologies for slights you never knew I did So would it kill you to say I'm sorry? I'm not surprised that I have to ask for everything you took from me I'll fight to get myself back So would you apologize? Or is that too much to ask of you you selfish fuck I can't believe I'm alright well I guess that's just dumb luck Take a look at me now. I turned out alright, at least I tell myself that every night to stave off darkness then eventually the light. So when I die I'll think of you, and all the things you do. Not because you ever mattered but because you tainted me I only hope I hurt you too
6.
Bury Me 04:03
So when I die I will think of you And while i live I will be consumed By moving pictures flashing lights and my fire escape The moving shadows on the wall and my impending fate So take me out of, out of here, to the place where you've been hiding from me all these years Bury sadness, where it can be found, you'll need it someday, when you find your luck on the ground Burn your hope and, put it on display where all can see it and someday you will find your way I read this all, in a book, where words unspoken captured me I cried and I shook And that's not the way I wanna die I'll tell you why If life's a chore and nothing more then when we're on deaths door We're at the gate procrastinate you're not so great And man if that's really all there is to live then well, fuck it So let's get wasted, fuck our dreams, there's nothing left but these old magazines Bury me, standing up, so when I wake up I can lay right back where I was Brick and mortar, hold me inside, the shattered plaster of my life we live and we die Family, friends and neighbors will all come to a hole in the ground From there they see the life that never will be found It lives forever with the worms where they won't ever hear a sound But in that silence authors live and king will be crowned And if you're honest and you're kind, your luck will follow you through to the other side With haunted mirrors, comes haunting change, the past sits always watching you as you age If you hear me, or if you feel my pain, just know I've become the chorus and refrain And I read this all, in a book, where words unspoken captured me I cried and I shook
7.
Tomorrow 04:34
So if I'm honest, I'm feeling lonely worse every day now I'm drowning slowly This insurrection feels like a dead end, the waves crash slowly I'm over my head With bloated bodies of former colleagues, family and lovers, all float beside me In this frozen ocean, this vapid wasteland, I feel exhausted getting by So let tomorrow pass me by just like the rolling of the tide when time is low and moving slow and i can't even close my eyes No I don't know if, this is forever, I'm barely solid under the weather A vast hypnosis, a fate made frugal, a dirge plays softly from a bugle That sings our ending, that haunts our dreaming, i can't remember if hope was fleeting Our final moments, I'm feeling empty, I can't believe this no movie ending Still the beating of my heart, and tell me why it is so hard to be alive, to take your time, or for us to be apart We have to live we have to try We have to live we will not die So if I don't wake up today, please just leave me where I lay, I didn't really need the time it's okay to pass me by
8.
All I ever wanted was to know your plans but all I ever did was follow you into the dark And i don't know that I will ever understand "Til death, do us part" So if I tell you that I'm feeling kind of grand when I think about the feelings in my hand Just know that it's only cause of you and the things that you do If we stay the way we are, we will look up at the stars And we will see reflections staring back at us through gritted teeth Crying softly through their struggle, to make ends meet But they are happy, they are helpful, they have giants 'neath their feet And so if things ever change I have written down my middle name so I can remember what lies between my beginnings and who I am So take me out, please take me out of the game If I seem insincere please know I'm not And if this is too much, just turn it off Otherwise the record scratches and our bodies rot With my time left, I won't jerk off I will spend every minute thinking of your laugh The very fiber of my being being wound and wound Tangled up inside your fabric, drawn as a graph Never lost and nothing tragic, as long as I've got you around
9.
Comfortable 03:55
Life is so short, that we're conscious of our change We'll be here so long, that the earth will learn our names And we'll learn hers Patience is a virtue, that I never learned from reading prose I don't know if, wisdom withers or it grows In my heart or my hands And my art never stands to be a part of the machine And my heart will expand to find to find beauty in the smallest things And I will land on your heart strings So when I move out, who will move in to my place And if I sell out who will write of my disgrace And when I blow up, will I finally catch a wiff Of what the world's like, when the focus isn't this And I'll focus and try to be a part of the abyss And i'll notice that the world isn't as mean as it seems And i'll focus on the boxes I've packed and the facts that I've ignored And I'll pretend that I'm not terrified of moving on You'll hold my hand as we move forwards towards the night dissatisfied and frightful we're alive And I'm thriving deeply in the night where I find that I am in fact afraid to die but it's alright because I can already see we're led by a candlelight And it's telling me to trust in you And I believe it's what I have to do To find my place next to you And we'll find out the debt we have is greater than the sum of our parts And we'll take loans and mortgages to find a place where we can be comfortable
10.
I've got friends in places I could never understand I've got memories of faces lying desperate in the sand I've got problems yeah we all do and they never seem to change It's always the same ones that reside inside my brain -- If I told you that I loved you would you take it the wrong way I don't do this stuff that often but I'm usually okay What I mean to say's that friends are often hard for me to find So when I find them oh I keep them for the rest of my whole life And I don't want to be alone again And I don't want to sing alone again And I don't want to be a fucked up friend And I don't want this to end If I'm silent I promise that I just need time to mend And for those southern stars to be aligned before my signals send There's a wire jammed a cable loose or something's blocking the way Because although you never hear from me I'm trying every day --//-- So trust me when I tell you that you've never left my head I think of you every summer night when the trees rustle my bed In that special way that happens only a couple times a year If you're calling I listen I promise I'll be here So if you hear my voice in southern cities give me a call if you're still with me and when I hear your voice I'll come so swiftly that you won't miss me you won't miss me
11.
I lost myself again I really need to learn to bend And not break the cracks beneath the ground holding up my feet When my life wasn't so bleak when I didn't feel so weak And I could have been a friend but I was caught up within But I wasn't and I'm gone so no more stringing you along It's just movies and TV and all the books I never read The games I play and my guitar I wanna know just who you are Beneath the shadows and mundane will you please call out my name So I give it one more chance I shatter all romance And I tell you that I'll never be whole again I've lost all those I've called my friends I've buried them whole and taken apart my ends I'm dying here once somebody call this off and Take me out of here get rid of my dying thoughts And tell me I'm alive and tell me that I'm not myself And tell me I can mend Down and back again, try to get together the next time that I see you Don't look to deep into my heart, you'll find my broken buried in shards So I tell you I'm skipping town, say I'll pack my things and bury them in the ground And i dont' know if this is how things will stay if all the anger and the pain will ever go away So if you need a second just to catch your breath please think about the times that I have lost mine I read this all, in a book, where words unspoken captured me and I shook So let tomorrow pass me by just like the rolling of the tide Never lost and nothing tragic, as long as I've got you around And we'll take loans and mortgages to find a place where we can be comfortable So if you hear my voice in southern cities give me a call if you're with me These are the moments that have passed and these are the lives that never last And this is the shape you've left me in depressed and dejected stuck staying in But I'll get outside someday because I promise that I'm here to stay I know it's hard and that it's dumb but I will hold on until we've won I'll get up and I'll get out and I'll get better every day

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All of it - Me

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released November 15, 2019

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Weak Arms Richmond, Virginia

I've got weak arms

email: ivegotweakarms@gmail.com

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